Beauty Advice I'd Give to My Younger Self
Step away from the St. Ives apricot scrub (and 19 more beauty & life lessons).
I keep a photo of myself at 16 saved on my desktop. It’s a candid shot of me curling my hair with a TIGI Bedhead curling iron (hello, 2008). I’m in the basement of my high school, getting ready to be an extra in our school’s annual student-run musical. I hadn’t yet learned that I should curl my hair away from my face, not toward it. I didn’t know that running a brush through the curls afterward is what creates that “effortless” finish everyone strives for.
“Effortless” was not in my vocabulary as a Type A, overachieving, extracurricular-stacking teen. I was effort-full, and that especially applied to my beauty routine.
After attending a Catholic elementary school that banned all makeup (even clear nail polish!), I reveled in the freedom of expressing myself in high school. I applied blue eyeliner on my lids and green eyeliner on my waterline. I taught myself how to do a Bardot-esque updo for prom. I learned how to do a smoky eye from Michelle Phan on YouTube. I didn’t know the first thing about talking to boys, but I did have a 3-step acne-fighting skincare routine from ProActiv (thanks to Jessica Simpson). My house was the designated getting-ready spot before school dances, and I happily played makeup artist and hairstylist for all my friends.
At the time, my biggest aspiration was to be an English teacher. The girl in the photo never imagined she’d become a magazine editor (just like the movies!) or work in the beauty industry. She’d never predict that teaching people how to use a Dyson Airwrap in a 45-second video would be part of her job (she’d have a hard time wrapping her head around the concept of the Airwrap in the first place, tbh). She would simply freak out if I showed her the department store’s worth of products in my closet.
“I keep that photo on my desktop to remind myself WHY I do the work I do. I do it for her: the morena Filipina girl who’s just starting to navigate the world of beauty.”
I keep that photo on my desktop to remind myself WHY I do the work I do. I do it for her: the morena Filipina girl who’s just starting to navigate the world of beauty, who doesn’t see herself reflected in the magazines she subscribes to, who doesn’t have an older sister to guide her around Sephora, who has yet to find what makes her feel confident. I do it for the teen girl hungry for beauty advice, only to discover that most of it’s catered to girls who don’t look like her.
If I could go back, knowing what I know now–after a career of learning everything in beauty from experts and testing beauty products and services–here’s what I’d tell her:
Step away from the St. Ives apricot scrub. You haven’t learned about overexfoliation yet, but a good rule of thumb for your skin is to BE GENTLE!
Those Neutrogena makeup wipes are for emergencies only! They don’t actually clean your skin. Micellar water + a cotton round is a better method, but you must follow with regular face cleanser. Also, never go to bed with makeup on!!!
Stop using that papaya skin-whitening soap. You don’t need to be afraid of enjoying the sunshine. Your morena skin is beautiful. The sooner you embrace this, the closer you will be to finding peace.
Fill in your eyebrows, I beg. If there’s one thing to master, this is it…and don’t be so heavy-handed with the tweezer!
You can’t hate yourself into a version of yourself you love. 1200 calories is too little food. You never, ever need to “punish” yourself for anything you ate by running endless miles on the treadmill. Your metabolism is insane right now, eat the damn cheesecake and enjoy it.
DO NOT POP THE PIMPLE!!! Trust me. It prolongs inflammation, which will leave behind a dark mark that sticks around seemingly forever.
Start wearing at least SPF 30 daily, especially on those entire Saturdays spent outdoors at a track meet.
Travel as much as you can, because it’ll expand your understanding of “beautiful.” One day in Spain, you’ll see unbothered, elderly women–topless, rolls, wrinkles and all–and feel liberated from the impossible beach body” ideal. In Morocco, you’ll watch local women make argan oil from scratch and get introduced to black soap and the wonders of the hammam. In France, you’ll see so many bare-faced, stunning women who will inspire a more minimalist approach to beauty. Keep traveling for the rest of your life.
Which of these do you recognize? If a skincare product makes your skin sting, that doesn’t mean it’s working. That means it’s destroying your skin barrier! Skincare should feel like a hug for your skin.
Your pediatrician will have the nerve to tell you that, at 5’7, you need to be 127lbs “if you want to look sexy.” This number will haunt you for years. Do yourself a favor and throw out the scale. You’ll be much happier when you have no clue what you weigh. How you feel is more important.
Lemon juice doesn’t give you highlights in the sun. That is white people beauty advice (see also: wearing frosted pink lipstick…not morena-friendly!). Your hair is black, so bleach is required to lighten it. If you want highlights, go to the salon.
The first time you get your makeup done at the MAC counter, you’ll get shade-matched NC45. Girl, it’s too orange. It will be years before makeup brands finally figure out medium shades. Armani Luminous Silk in 6.5 is pricy, but it's a better match for you!
You hate your braces, I know. But, high school is THE time to have braces. So please, please wear your retainer. Or, you’ll have to do it all over again when you’re 29 (true story).
All the magazine covers and beauty ads you see have absurdly digitally edited photos. Those photos also involve a massive team of hair stylists, makeup artists, and excellent lighting. Even the mascara ads use fake lashes! Before you let one of these make you feel bad, remember: No one looks like that in real life.
Right now, you hate the way your skin rolls over your track uniform shorts when you’re doing a hamstring stretch. You worry everyone is noticing how “fat” you are. My dear girl: No one is thinking about you. Do not let that single inch on your waist govern your self worth. You look incredible. Wear whatever you like!
No homework is worth losing an entire night of sleep. Stress is the worst thing you can do for your skin (and overall health).
A dermatologist will tell you that a sulfur-based, orange face wash that smells like garbage is the best way to treat your acne. I promise you there are better solutions. Switch to a gentle face wash (like CeraVe’s Hydrating Facial Cleanser).
It’s okay to try. It’s okay to be seen trying. People will tell you that’s “cringe” or that you’re unlikeable because you care SO much so openly, but eventually you’ll realize this isn’t something to be ashamed of. Figuring out who you are is messy. This time in your life, making mistakes is the point! Be kind to yourself.
Wash your pillowcase at least weekly. Seriously!!!
Repeat after me: I do not have to be perfect to be loved.
I’d love to hear in the comments…what beauty/life advice would you give to your 16-year-old-self?
Links I’m Loving…
I’m a huge tennis fan and, last year, started taking tennis lessons for the first time. I’ve been following Alexandra Eala for a couple years now, and her history-making run at the Miami Open has me feeling SO PROUD! I stayed up past my bedtime to watch her in the semi-finals. She lost, but I’m still on a high from simply seeing the Filipino flag on the scoreboard. She’s only 19 – how exciting is it that we’ll get to watch her career?
I’m big on listening to podcasts for news. NPR re-published “The Long Shadow of Duterte’s Drug War” (30 min listen) that breaks down the aftermath of Duterte’s war on drugs still felt years after he took office.
Bretman Rock visited El Nido and his content is so joyful. That mango looks juicy! Can’t wait to visit in May.
I found Olivia Rodrigo’s exact lipstick from her Lollapalooza performance!
Kora Bakery finally opens their brick and mortar store in Sunnyside, Queens this weekend. Expect long lines! The way I need the pain Suisse filled with Spam (!!), pimento cheese, hot honey, and chile crisp???
I had that exact bottle of BBW Japanese cherry blossom 😅 I'd tell myself the same thing that 1200 calories IS NOT ENOUGH
I would tell my 16 year old self - you are beautiful and perfect, just the way you are. You will never look like this again, our bodies and face change as we grow older, so embrace it.